Sorry this post took soo long

well you know i broke my hand before well i had to have an operation on it to move the knuckle back into place :(   so i didnt want to type a whole perfect post with one hand.

MY GOALS

start a small business and turn it to a rather large business
finish my degreee
save 30 000 pounds ( i already saved 3000 lol)
have fun

SA is boring

im tired of talking about SA and saying i have . i would rather get on with life.   but sometimes i think im trying to shy away from the situation which would not get any better without my ful attention.

HELP?

My broken hand has healed

my broken hand healed at last. now i am going to go on a blog rampage but first.

" It is easier to make money then to hold on to it"

well this quote by me means ...

when i make £100 i tend to spend it not all at once but gradually over a prolonged period of time . then i am broke again.

when my freind make £100 he doesn't touch it keeps it in the bank and figures a way to expand that money using only a small proportion of it , so he decided to take £20 and buy some sweets/candy and sell it at his school by the end of the week he was £10 up and now has £110 .

after months he now has £500 and i have £0

Saving up and adding is the best for our finance not so much taking away.

good night

SA song

SA SA you are a Bi*ch
but SA SA you leave this ditch
indented around as if it was a football pitch
galloping greiving knowing kneeling
as if it where blocked in a bottle
and needed a throttle
to boost it out of me

SA SA you are a Bi*ch
but what can i expect from future plans
a lifetime of fear or food in my hand
without a job without a penny
this fear inside locked in me
as if  it were mocked and thrown inside.


what am i writing 
this crap is useless 
your not good enough and your just 
useless
they dont want you 
they dont need you
fear is enough especially when its bundled inside you.
now you shy boring person leave this house.,,,, what?

Don't tell me that SA!! I'm worthy of bigger better things
Now if you tell me crap like that i'll take you to a garbage tin
I am greater then you(SA) but one thing is i do need you
Just not to the extent of what you have given me.

THANK YOU ( my song is available in itunes LOL joking )

In the moment

In a bubble

I realised the decisions that I make are based on the emotions that I am
Feeling at the present time. Then what influences are emotions? The environment and the past
So when someone says do you regret running out of class at 14 years old I say NO

Why? Because I know the feeling I felt caused me to react. So i am not sorry or regretful.

Then what if you regret something you wish you had done?

Well I'll slap myself and say I'll learn from that and make sure I'll do things so I won't regret but once again I don't regret feeling to an anxious to go shopping or stand up in class.

Starting a SMALL business

My goal is to start up a small business in 3 years time. within those three years im aiming to save enough money to put my project forward.

" Making a self owned business is easy, its the starting to thats hard"

I am extremely motivated to start a small business soon but i realise going straight into the deep end now isn't going to help at all.  If i could start up an SA business now i will definitely find it my passion since its close to my massive heart lol. However, i won't the reason is i don't believe i'll make a difference to the SA community.

Sad i know but i think this many times    AM   I   GOOD  ENOUGH   ?


Do you think your'e good enough?


As in good enough to have freinds or be rich because i know the millionaires out there didn't believe they were good enough.

But they NEVER GAVE UP!!

Broken hand :(

any broken hands check this out it helped my pain PLEASE BEG U http://urbannews4u.blogspot.co.uk/

As a blogger I will still type a blog up pain or no pain why? because its my duty!  lol

I didn't notice I broke my hand until it became really swollen. The bone on the hand under the small finger broke

so my knuckle is loose. they gave me some bandages for now so the knuckle doesn't crunch against my knuckle(on the ring finger)

Its odd though I drink milk and eat cheese every day yet I broke a bone hmm. is that myth a lie?

Sorry i didn't post much i had no internet for nearly 2 weeks. its not that bad with no internet u get used to it and learn to listen to RADIO.

The invisible body

This post is about weight.

I realize now that there is a set body weight. mine is 195 pounds.

so as you know i lost weight and went to 178 lbs i stopped concentrating on every meal that i eat but i do consider how many and how much i should eat. But doing this for 4 months i found my self weighing 195 lbs again (the FAT weight) im 6ft so its fat.

I learnt that if you lose weight try and maintain it every 10 lbs lost . WHY? well doing this changing your set body weight for me its 195lbs so if i had of stayed at 185 my set weight would have changed but NO i rushed to
178 lbs and i now find myself in the same place.

The Great thing is my body fat percentage increasing by only 2% from 17% to 19% so i gained 7lbs fat and i guess 10 lbs of MUSCLE!

People are telling me i'm more muscle now.

Stress and not eating healthy

I haven't changed my eating habit I still eat a lot. I think its because of the stress. The stress of exams and really school stress.

I don't play much sport since i got SA, 2/3 years ago (not that its an excuse). I tried playing soccer/football with my brother but i felt weirdly tense and as if everyone was looking at me so i don't play it anymore :(  . My brother does ask me to play but i decline it why? because i don't want to embarrass him.

I do get out you know school and walking . I walk everywhere lol its like i have to in order to get from A-B i must walk.

I'm blogging to relieve my stress. Unfortunately I'm eating a doughnut at the same time.

Does anyone have any advice please leave a comment :)

SA vs SA Disorder

What's the difference between SA and social anxiety disorder?
Well SA disorder has a profound effect on your life for a long period of time.
But for what period of time?
That's the thing I believe you could say its a disorder if you believe its having a real effect on your life and for when it feels its been too long. If you get what I mean? I know I'm speaking some crap.

For me its been a long time I've had SA but its not effecting my life greatly since I'm recovering from it. So id say I'm going through SA not SA disorder.

To me disorder sounds ever lasting, I don't like that word Lol.

SA and Giving up.

Just a year ago, I was going to give up going to college/university. Why? Well these clumps of thoughts came to me on my last day of high school one section was relieved 'No more school yes!,' the other frightened. Frightened of going through 3-4 more years of anxiety, panic and stress. Yeah, I was ready to give up going.

These frightened thoughts included:
'Am I good enough to compete with all these confident students'
'What's the point, no one would accept me'
'Would i be able to cope?'

Yeah as I said "I was almost going to give up." Until i met this brilliant lady named Roseanne whom happened to be a careers advisor.

She told me 'Giving up gives you no chance but actually trying gives you a chance.' I was a bit baffled by what she said and yeah it took me awhile to understand it. Basically, Roseanne told me about giving up and how my emotions at the period of my life might not allow me to make the best decisions for my future. So instead of going with my heart I just went with what i knew.

I knew it wasn't going to be as bad. I'll probably love University and who knows it might relieve my SA.

Now, I'm loving it. i made a few more friends and I'm fulfilling my passion full career. :)

My Fat loss/ Health plan

As you know health can be affected by SA.
How? 
Anxiety = increased adrenaline = increased blood pressure =  Stress = fat gain and insomnia.

I'm 198 lbs now. 6 ft tall and 18 years of age male.
 So, i need
 2347 Calories/day to maintain my weight
i need 1847 Calories/day to lose 1 lb per week
1560 calories to lose 1.5lbs per week


My goal is to be 178 lbs like i was last year by May.
 My motivation is to be 'A better me.'
As you know 1 lb loss a week is pretty slow and the reason is i want to make it a lifestyle change rather then a sudden temporary burst of weight loss. As i experienced going from  210lbs to 178lbs then back up to 198lbs.


It's really how you deal with the STRESS and from my experience SA is a main cause of it. So when i get stressed i am going to blog.


BLOG blog BLOG.   :)


To calculate your weight loss calorie needs go to http://www.calculator.net/calorie-calculator.html

Working out helps relieve SA

Running is something i do to forget. Forget about negative thoughts. Forget about SA. Just forget.you know?


When i run it feels as if i'm normal and when i say that, 
i mean i feel part of the "Normal group" within society.








You know? The normal group. It includes good attributes such as:
-social ability
-communication ability
-personality
-beliefs
-health


Before i sleep, i lay in my bed and think about what makes me normal. As people dear to me know i don't have much of the normal attributes above. So what makes me feel normal other then exercise? Well, you guys do. Watching all these YouTube videos such as janeyfromkorea to mrshyandtimid makes me believe that Anxiety is not the reason i feel rubbish but its the negative thoughts with it Lol. I know for sure that negative thoughts can be beaten. Wooooooop!Woop!

My Schedule

By the way i'm from the UK

My schedule:

7:00-8:00am: wake up, get ready for school, 

8:00-9:00am: Take a bus to school 

9:00am-3:00pm: school. (time varies in between)

3:00-4:00pm: Bus back home

4:00-6:00pm chill out watch T.V, play black ops

6:00-8:00pm Revise school work

8;00-12:00pm: Chill out at home

Mon-Fri (schedule same)

Sat-Sun (Chill out) 

sorry

haven't posted in a while doing exams. stress.

quote of the day
'How I felt at that moment is not for me to regret.'