SA song

SA SA you are a Bi*ch
but SA SA you leave this ditch
indented around as if it was a football pitch
galloping greiving knowing kneeling
as if it where blocked in a bottle
and needed a throttle
to boost it out of me

SA SA you are a Bi*ch
but what can i expect from future plans
a lifetime of fear or food in my hand
without a job without a penny
this fear inside locked in me
as if  it were mocked and thrown inside.


what am i writing 
this crap is useless 
your not good enough and your just 
useless
they dont want you 
they dont need you
fear is enough especially when its bundled inside you.
now you shy boring person leave this house.,,,, what?

Don't tell me that SA!! I'm worthy of bigger better things
Now if you tell me crap like that i'll take you to a garbage tin
I am greater then you(SA) but one thing is i do need you
Just not to the extent of what you have given me.

THANK YOU ( my song is available in itunes LOL joking )

In the moment

In a bubble

I realised the decisions that I make are based on the emotions that I am
Feeling at the present time. Then what influences are emotions? The environment and the past
So when someone says do you regret running out of class at 14 years old I say NO

Why? Because I know the feeling I felt caused me to react. So i am not sorry or regretful.

Then what if you regret something you wish you had done?

Well I'll slap myself and say I'll learn from that and make sure I'll do things so I won't regret but once again I don't regret feeling to an anxious to go shopping or stand up in class.

Starting a SMALL business

My goal is to start up a small business in 3 years time. within those three years im aiming to save enough money to put my project forward.

" Making a self owned business is easy, its the starting to thats hard"

I am extremely motivated to start a small business soon but i realise going straight into the deep end now isn't going to help at all.  If i could start up an SA business now i will definitely find it my passion since its close to my massive heart lol. However, i won't the reason is i don't believe i'll make a difference to the SA community.

Sad i know but i think this many times    AM   I   GOOD  ENOUGH   ?


Do you think your'e good enough?


As in good enough to have freinds or be rich because i know the millionaires out there didn't believe they were good enough.

But they NEVER GAVE UP!!

Broken hand :(

any broken hands check this out it helped my pain PLEASE BEG U http://urbannews4u.blogspot.co.uk/

As a blogger I will still type a blog up pain or no pain why? because its my duty!  lol

I didn't notice I broke my hand until it became really swollen. The bone on the hand under the small finger broke

so my knuckle is loose. they gave me some bandages for now so the knuckle doesn't crunch against my knuckle(on the ring finger)

Its odd though I drink milk and eat cheese every day yet I broke a bone hmm. is that myth a lie?

Sorry i didn't post much i had no internet for nearly 2 weeks. its not that bad with no internet u get used to it and learn to listen to RADIO.

The invisible body

This post is about weight.

I realize now that there is a set body weight. mine is 195 pounds.

so as you know i lost weight and went to 178 lbs i stopped concentrating on every meal that i eat but i do consider how many and how much i should eat. But doing this for 4 months i found my self weighing 195 lbs again (the FAT weight) im 6ft so its fat.

I learnt that if you lose weight try and maintain it every 10 lbs lost . WHY? well doing this changing your set body weight for me its 195lbs so if i had of stayed at 185 my set weight would have changed but NO i rushed to
178 lbs and i now find myself in the same place.

The Great thing is my body fat percentage increasing by only 2% from 17% to 19% so i gained 7lbs fat and i guess 10 lbs of MUSCLE!

People are telling me i'm more muscle now.

Stress and not eating healthy

I haven't changed my eating habit I still eat a lot. I think its because of the stress. The stress of exams and really school stress.

I don't play much sport since i got SA, 2/3 years ago (not that its an excuse). I tried playing soccer/football with my brother but i felt weirdly tense and as if everyone was looking at me so i don't play it anymore :(  . My brother does ask me to play but i decline it why? because i don't want to embarrass him.

I do get out you know school and walking . I walk everywhere lol its like i have to in order to get from A-B i must walk.

I'm blogging to relieve my stress. Unfortunately I'm eating a doughnut at the same time.

Does anyone have any advice please leave a comment :)

SA vs SA Disorder

What's the difference between SA and social anxiety disorder?
Well SA disorder has a profound effect on your life for a long period of time.
But for what period of time?
That's the thing I believe you could say its a disorder if you believe its having a real effect on your life and for when it feels its been too long. If you get what I mean? I know I'm speaking some crap.

For me its been a long time I've had SA but its not effecting my life greatly since I'm recovering from it. So id say I'm going through SA not SA disorder.

To me disorder sounds ever lasting, I don't like that word Lol.